SHARING STORIES ● AAPI PROUD

As a Filipina Business owner, I definitely envision my page to be a platform where I can share struggles and my journey of healing and self reflection as an immigrant AAPI child. Last year around this time I took the leap of faith to start going to therapy because I was starting to see anxiety patterns trickle down through generations ; from my grandma to my mom and then myself. I wanted to get better and work through my own struggles for myself and to be a better mom so that my child doesn't have to go through what I went through. The deeper I went the more I recognized that there's so much shame within me as a result of toxic Filipino culture and how that's shaped my mom, and how she's shaped me. Don't get me wrong I am so proud of my roots and grateful for growing up in a loving, family oriented compassionate household, but I think the subtle nature of toxic Filipino culture is what made it so dangerous. Being very thin runs in my family so my mom was surrounded by a lot of body shaming. I realized the way that she learned to cope with the comments was to be the nicest human, avoid stepping on their toes, and to be hyper aware of social settings. I recognized that her greatest fear is to have somebody think she's a bad person, so she'll do everything in her power to prevent that from happening and of course that fear also inherited to me. I always find myself sucking at boundaries and bending over backwards for people, but being able to process and analyze my mom and her trauma has really helped me be more self aware and to take better, honest, care of myself. Hoping I can help share more stories and what I've been processing, so I can help others feel seen, heard, and know that they're not alone.